Part one of this sub-series introduced suicide safety planning. I reviewed the rationale for using them and key elements to consider. In part two, I started describing in detail the different sections of the safety plan. I covered Warning Signs and Coping Strategies: Things You Can Do on Your Own. Today, I’ll cover Coping Strategies: Community Connections, Places You Can Go, and People You Can Call. In part four, I’ll wrap up with Professionals/Emergency Resources and Making the Environment Safe. Stay tuned!

Coping Strategies: Community Connections

This section is unique to my safety plans. And it is a new addition, inspired by the research I did for my first Making Sense of Suicide Workshop. As such, this section is not researched for efficacy, effectiveness, validity, etc. In my initial applications, I learned differentiating between this section, places to go, and people to call can be a bit tricky. There may be some overlap. I’m ok with overlap; I’d rather have too many bases covered than not enough.

I opted to include this section because I found the standard approach relies too heavily on the individual (if you have resources that indicate otherwise, please share!). Euro-Centric, western ideologies overly emphasize the idea of picking oneself up by the bootstraps, which is physically impossible, by the way. This individualistic mentality has been reinforced in recent years. There has been a loss of third spaces and worsening isolation in the wake of COVID-19.

More importantly though, is that in many cultures the first defense for any form of crisis is community. To have a truly personalized safety plan, culture and often by extension, community, must be incorporated. And that’s where this section comes in.

What are the communities connections you have that you can call upon during a suicidal crisis? Or ideally at the first hint of warning signs)? This will likely be specific to your culture and can include places, spaces, people, rituals, and more. It may include your church, local medicine person, bruja, sound bath facilitator, yoga class, dance class, bible study, corner bodega, library, coffee shop, chess game in the park, pet meet-up, you name it. The goal is to feel a sense of connection, shared values, and most importantly, belonging.

Considerations

The primary challenge that I see with this section, other than the aforementioned overlap, is time of day. Now-a-days churches are often locked when not in service, yoga classes aren’t happening 24/7, and the library isn’t open on weekends (at least not my local one). So be mindful of the whens/hows of the resources listed here.

Places You Can Go

The benefit of identifying places you can go is twofold. First, we are much less likely to hurt ourselves when we are in public and around other people. Second, getting out of your normal space, likely your home, can break the tunnel vision of a suicidal crisis. Getting a change of scene is not going to magically resolve all the things driving you to suicide in the first place. It can break the thought patterns and challenge the urgency enough to buy you time to get more help. Or maybe it can even help you connect with a sliver of joy.

I differentiate this section from community connections because you may or may not involve other people here.

Examples include (and certainly are not limited to):

• Movies
• Favorite coffee shop
• Ice cream parlor
• Gym
• Park with your dog
• A hike
• Gym
• Bookstore
• Thrift store
• Mall
• Church

Remember, whatever goes down here, should be personal and specific to your client.

Considerations

As with all aspects of a suicide safety plan, safety, accessibility, and feasibility needs to be considered. For this section that may involve considering transportation, finances, and once again, time of day for when places will be open. A lot of people like to put “go for a drive” (or motorcycle ride) in this section. I always ask “is that safe for you?” The temptation to speed, to fantasize about getting into an accident, to driving off steep cliff sides, can be too much to challenge in the heat of the moment. If that’s the case, it’s not safe and shouldn’t go in the plan.

With accessibility and feasibility, you are asking similar questions. Can you actually get to the movies? Do you have the spending money to go out to dinner? When you are feeling like garbage, will you be willing to get up and go to the gym? As was reviewed in part one of this series, anything on the plan has to be something you can and will actually do.

People You Can Call

People can struggle with this section. It activates our feelings of burdensomeness and fears that others won’t be available or willing to help when we need them. And some folks genuinely do not have people to call. Normalize how hard it is to ask for help. Developing social support can be a target of treatment.

To make it a bit more accessible, I like to pose two categories. One, the people you can call at 2 a.m. and tell everything to. The people you trust to answer their phones and to be there for you. I HIGHLY recommend telling people in this category that they are on your plan. This can help them be ready and prepared to take said call.

Two, the people you don’t really want to disclose what’s going on to. However, you can say “hey, want to go for a walk?” and they would be game. These can be people in your bowling league or soccer team. People you can share a cup of coffee with and not have to talk about anything of consequence. And they can help you get out of your house, get out of your head, and have some (safe) distraction for a while.

As we are all reliant on our phones to remember anyone’s number, I encourage writing down everyone’s number on the plan itself. Just in case.

For Clinicians: I hope this gives you ideas on how to be more personalized and specific when creating safety plans with your clients.

For Those Seeking Healing: If you are in a position to need a safety plan, I hope this gives you inspiration for what to include. And please remember, these posts are not therapy or an emergency resource. If you are having thoughts of suicide call 9-8-8 or go to your local emergency room.

Want to learn more?

Come to my “Making Sense of Suicide Workshop: Phoenix”

February 15, 2025. Registration CLOSES on February 10! Sign up here.